Activities for the Fall Harvest Season
My 5 to 7 minute contribution to the Hilarity Harvest No-Contest Toastmaster affair back in October 30, 2018.
For this speech I researched to find a few of the more common activities people partake in the fall/Halloween season.
Then I envisioned myself partaking in such activities as an out of shape senior and grandmother of adult grandchildren. I haven't had to celebrate Halloween in over 25 years! What would I do with this list of fun activities? What wouldn't I or couldn't I do as an elder?
I've provided my notes and images for your enjoyment, and if you can manage to make a speech from any of this I'd love to know how it turns out.
Activities for the fall include:
Fall first hits when you walk into your store and get blasted by Cinnamon spice and everything nice. Fall is cinnamon brooms that serve no purpose other than annoy the sinuses.
And once familiar foods now everything pumpkin.
Dog biscuits, Cereals, Butters, Tea, Coffee, Sauces, Cheese, Pancakes and Waffles, Popcorn, Dish soap, Household cleaners, Cosmetics and Body washes.
When I was a kid, fall was pumpkin pie.
The day after Xmas meant waiting 10 months till mom baked another pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie meant fall was here. None of this new stuff matters. Just give me a pumpkin pie.
Pick apples. How many pecks of apples can Johnny Appleseed pick? Travel an hour or two to pick a peck of apples (about 32) or splurge for a bushel (125) and spend $$80 bucks, or swing by Trader Joes to pick up a bag, enough for one decent pie for $5.
Candy apples. Who was the first person to decide natures perfect fruit needs to be dipped in 10,000 calories, handed to children about to embark on a Trick or Treat quest to bring 80,000 more calories to their diet?
Take the world's healthiest food and make caramel apples. An excuse to eat 10K calorie while convincing self it's healthy because it's an apple after all. Set the stage for Halloween, feed to the kiddies before sending them out to gather 80K more calories to add to their already sugary diets.
Tail gate party. Hang out with friends in a cold stadium parking lot, watch the game on a big screen TV mounted in the bed of a pick-up-truck. Consume triglycerides cooked over the tail gate barbecue. Drink beer. Freeze butt off. Maybe if I was 20...
Hay Rides and Horses
A hay ride might be nice as long as they have some sort of hydrolic lift or crane to plunk me on the pile so I don't roll off at the first good bump.
I'd love to ride a horse again but these days just feel sorry for the horse. Wouldn't be able to enjoy it because I'd be apologizing to the horse. “It's not that much farther, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.”
Corn mazes for dating couples and 7 year olds. The last thing I want to do is wander aimlessly among hysterical strangers who can't find their way out of a patch of 8 foot corn stalks.
If my kids were young I'd find the bench nearest “Go. Fend for yourselves, if you're in there more than 24 hours I'll call for help, watch for rats and don't talk to strangers. That ought to keep em busy.
Hot Air Balloon
Take a hot air balloon ride. Ok with me as long as the thing stays firmly moored to the ground.
Made my own out of whatever was available. Remember those days? I'd be lucky if Mom and Dad bought a mask! Who says ghosts can't be fashionable. be polka dotted or striped?
Decorate for Halloween
Plant headstones in the yard, hang spiders and cobwebs. Plan scary surprises. Bring out the skeletons and gruesome ghouls. Terrorize the begeebes out of little children to the delight of their parents, then give them candy.
Me? I live in an old people hood. We are so old we have forgotten what children look like.
3 Trick/Treaters in 25 years.
I've been avoiding these people for a decade, why do I want them in my house all at once?
is right around the corner...we could have a combined celebration/reunion. Break out the beer steins and accordions and let's party.
Build a Bonfire, Celebrate
the annual “Burn the Witches” ceremony. toss in a few firecrackers for good measure.
Have Fun with leaves
Or we can slow things down and just watch leaves. Some travel to see fall colors.
If leaves don't change where you live paint leaves red, gold, green and brown
Gather leaves for table decorations and wreaths. Put them in glass bowls for display.
Wait till a blanket of leaves and walk through them, run through them, or slide. In fact I did all three on my way here.
Gather leaves and throw them at your friends and passers by. They'll love it I promise.
Rake leaves into designs like mazes and labyrinths.
Rake em into a pile and jump into the leaves. Once. Shower, change clothes, admonish the dog, blow the rest into the compost bin.
I plan to do to what I what I always do in the fall. Sit by the fire as much as possible in my comfy chair and watch 100 of my favorite Halloween scary movies.
Here is the Mind-map for my Hilarity Harvest speech - each scene in this mind-map below is available for kids to print and color on scissorcraft.com.